Revised
(Poking the smoldering coals with his stick and rearranging them carefully,) he kept the fire growing far into the night as he sat and blew and blew on the hollow branch, (the coals dancing and flames growing because of it.) He found that placing his fingertips, (dirty from his day of labor,) over the five holes would lower or raise the pitch. Moreover, (it strangely eased the pain in his heart) when he coaxed the voice from the branch. So, of course, he blew and made the branch sing until once again he dropped over from exhaustion. (The fire then burned the hollow branch into ash.)
Original
He kept the fire growing far into the night as he sat and blew and blew on the hollow branch. He found that placing his fingertips over the five holes would lower or raise the pitch. Moreover, when he coaxed the voice from the branch, it strangely the pain in his heart. So, of course, he blew and made the branch sing until once again he dropped over from exhaustion. The hollow branch was then burned to ash by the fire.
I know my shift out of order and action verbs may not be the best but I think that it was the best I could do under the circumstances.
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Assessment Activity
Identifying Genre
1.) Using specific examples from class discussions about genre, explain your understanding of how genres are identified, constructed, produced.
The different ways to write or present information to the reader is what is defines or makes up a genre. Examples of genre are letters, position papers, profiles, poems, Ext. Genre is what helps readers understand what they are reading and help writers know the specific format in which they should write. The Norton Field Guide describes genre as what" help us write by defining features for conveying certain kinds of information.” They give the reader clues about what sort of information they're likely to find and help them figure out how to read the piece. (210)” Different genres are written in their own different and unique ways, an example of this is that poems and analysis papers are two completely different genres because they convey different information, they are written in a very different format and the reader reads and interprets both differently because of this reason.
2.) Select one of your major projects and describe how you understand the “genre” (or genres) for that project. You should provide specific examples from the text of your project to illustrate your points, and be sure to thoroughly describe the choices you made regarding complying (or not) with the genre in your writing.
The genre that I chose would be the argumentative essay. This genre is unique because you describe two different positions on a topic and try to persuade the reader to see and understand your side of the argument by pointing out the flaws in the opposing argument by giving facts and information that weaken the opposing argument. In my argumentative essay I chose student drug testing. I was able to follow the genre by showing how student drug testing would help decrease student drug use, which would improve grades, student attendance, and future drug abuse and addiction which were my the main points of my paragraphs and this strengthened my argument. I was then able to weaken the opposing arguments, which were invasion of privacy, and the fact that not all students use drugs. I could do this by pointing out the laws allowing the school to do so in order to prevent future drug experimentation. Now while certain areas of my argument could be viewed as week by not providing enough back round information, which made room for the opposing side to counter my argument. But overall I felt that the information I provided made my argument strong enough to fit the genre and persuade the reader to see my side and understand where I was coming from.
Creating Content
3.) Select a project from this course that you feel was strongly identified with a particular genre (try to pick a project where you felt you understood the genre/project and were able to work with it successfully). Discuss your understanding of how the content you created was shaped by the boundaries and features of the genre. (For example, were there things you couldn’t say about your topic because it didn’t fit with the genre? How did the genre affect the research you included?
(NOTE: if you worked on a project where you deliberately did NOT fit your content to the genre, you could discuss that project by describing how and why you made choices to do something different, and discussing how your choices resulted in a text that did not fit the genre.)
The Paper that I chose because I felt that it identified with a particular genre was the ethnography paper. The way to start the research paper is to come up with a research topic and question, which will eventually turn, into your thesis. I began by thinking about what I wanted to research and came up with vegans. I then turned this in to a question/questions, why do people become vegans? What is a vegan lifestyle like and consist of, and what is the personality or characteristics of a vegan? I started this way because of the guidelines given in class and what was stated in the Norton Field Guide. Then I had to find subjects or people to interview in order to gather information to answer my questions, which becomes the bulk of the paper. Now after I gathered the necessary information and began writing the essay I realized that I was putting in my own view points/beliefs, and was not following the genre. I was trying to turn the paper into an argumentative or persuasive piece by putting in why I disagreed and didn’t understand this lifestyle. After revising the paper I saw what I had turned the paper into and how I strayed from the assigned genre. I then had to rewrite and revise many areas of the paper so that it would properly fit with the genre. While I was revising the paper I structured the paper with the though in mind of making it an informative and descriptive research/ethnography paper by giving the detailed story of a “in the life of” type of essay. So instead of including so much of my own viewpoints I filled the bulk of the paper with their information and view and not as much of my own.
Organizing Information in Multiple Genres
4.) Compare two genres that were part of the work for this class. Use actual examples from the genres in question.
The two topics that I am choosing to compare are the Argumentative genre and the analysis genre. I chose these two because while they are different genres they are also in my mind quite similar. They are both papers that are intended to convey a particular viewpoint and describe our views and ideas on a particular subject. They are also quite different in the aspect that the argumentative genre is instead to convince a group of people to see your side of an argument. The main idea of the genre is to try to explain to people why they should take your side in the argument, or at least under stand why you believe that your views are correct by pointing out the flaws in the opposing arguments. The Analysis genre on the other hand is intended to show readers what they might not notice in a piece of work (film, art, music, ect) normally. You are in a way giving an educated assessment, critique, or review of a particular topic. So while they are both your own ideas and view point they are also both written in with a different style and format in mind.
Technology/Media
5.) Respond to one of the following writing situations: Imagine you need to produce a text about one of the following topics (choose only one). Explain (in detail) the decisions you might need to make regarding technology or media – What tools would you use to create the text? What tools/or venues might you use to distribute it? Keep in mind there is really no “correct” answer for this question – only examples of sound choices made for good reasons.
Note #1: Please explain in as much detail as possible. You can use examples from choices you made on projects during the semester – if applicable – to illustrate how these decisions can have important effects on the text one produces.
Note #2: Be sure to consider who the audience would be for this hypothetical document, and how that might affect your choices.
I chose to write about how I would use technology to create information on how to use the WMU library website. The first thing that you would have to do is type up the how-to information guide by using the Internet, the library website, a word document to type and design the how-to document. Then I would create a few different ways that my how two could be used. One would be an interactive website the others would be a pamphlets/brochure and DVD. The web site I would create on my computer, which would be an interactive web site that would have links that could be clicked in order to find certain information. There would be different links you could click for different genres that would lead to a link with different materials (books, magazines, websites, ect). This would lead to a link with a detailed paragraph of what you would haft to include in the library search tool and how you would use them to find the information that you’re looking for. This would also include a link to the exact library website search screen that you need to find what your looking for. I would also create a DVD with screen selections that would be similar to the web site. Different scene selections would be for the different genres that would lead to step-by-step directions. I would also have pamphlets that would have the same how to/ step by step direction of what you would haft to do to find exactly what you want. Then if you have any problems with anything all documents would have a help section telling you how to locate a help desk or a phone number to get one on one help. I would distribute the web site link by setting up an interactive link right on the main page of the WMU website and library home page, and via email. I would have the brochures and DVDs available at the welcome desk of the library and also have them handed out during orientation to ensure every student has a copy, so no student would have an excuse for not knowing how to use the library website. Ya pretty extensive and helpful
6 & 7.) Flexible Research Skills
Using one of the examples below (choose only one) discuss the resources you would/could use to find out about this topic. Think about the various kind of genres/or scenarios in which this information might be researched (for what kinds of texts and for what kinds of goals). Describe (in as much detail as possible) some (or all) of the following issues:
where you would go (physically or digitally) to find out about this topic
what kinds of technologies or media might you make use of in your search
who are some of the people you might gather information from (either as informants or as experts)
How would you decide what kind of information is applicable to your project?
What criteria would you use to make decisions about the types of information that would be useful or valid for this project.
Discuss one or more possibilities for the kind of text you might actually create using information you’ve gathered on this topic.
There are a multitude of sources that you could take advantage of in order to research the culture of a particular group/community and the values/rituals/beliefs that they have. Now if it’s a local group you could visit the area that they meet or congregate, i.e. a church, temple, rallied, speech, or any other type of group gathering. If that’s possible you might even have an opportunity to interview a person/s that participates in that following. If it’s not a local group than you would also have the option of looking it up on google, official group website, or some other reliable Internet resource. If that is not available you could see if they’re are educational or information videos, TV programs, or some sort of media that you could gather information from. Now like I said previously If you wanted one on one information you could ask a person involved in the group to gather reliable information, a professor, a person that has studied that group, or even another onlooker, like your self, to get their uneducated ideas and opinions on the group or subject to see what the common beliefs on this might be. Now the best information that you could find on the subject would be information that has been published by leaders, followers, originators, and creators of the group. Texts or audio/ visual information that has been produced and approved by the group would also be a good source. If those resources are not available than you should interview as many people as possible that participate in the group and compare the notes and identify the common similarities among them, which would lead to an educated guess on the subject. But even when it comes from the most reliable of sources there could always be uneducated, un-informed, or unreliable information. Which is why you should always double check the resources and investigate answers received. Now as far as the overall genre that could be written from the information gathered is all the decision of the author. From what I have written here it would most likely be a research/ ethnography type of paper. But if you wanted to turn the information that was gathered into an argumentative piece that could also be a possibility. All you would haft to do is take a position on the topic, weather you agree or disagree with the position of that group and why you agree or disagree with their lifestyle. It’s all about what information the author wants to convey.
Using Citation Formats and Citing Source Material in Multiple Genres
8.) Explore how citation functions within one of your projects from this semester. Why was this essay cited in this way? If the essay did not use formal citation, how did you show that you had the necessary authority to talk about the subject?
I used different citations/ work cited information on pretty much all of my papers. I will describe why I chose to cite like I did because there are different reasons for what I did in all of my papers. For my Analysis paper the only thing that I cited was the movie that I analyzed/ critiqued. The reason for that is because my paper was basically my views, ideas, opinions, and overall review of the film Reservoir dogs. I didn’t haft to cite anything else because I was the person creating the information given, not a different source, but I did have to cite when I used quotes because that’s another person’s work.
Now for the Argumentative essay that I did on school drug testing I had to cite many different sources using MLA citations. The reason that I had to do this was because the majority of my information came from Internet sources that I didn’t create, produce, or due the studies my self. I had to give credit and cite the source and author that it came from, both when I introduced the information and in my work cited page. Now at the same time when I formatted my papers to include citations I was worried I would credit my sources properly so I had to constantly revise my paper to make sure credit was given where credit was due.
9.) Describe your understanding of how formal citations work within an essay….how do they help to create an argument? How do they support arguments?
I believe that if it weren’t for formal citations that many genres of writing wouldn’t have much to fall back on. For the most part formal citations are what make up the bulk and credibility for informational and argumentative essays. When writing an essay you haft to have credible information to build up your topic and make it believable and reliable. The studies, information, and literature that you include from informed and credible sources is what lets your reader know that you have a informed and accurate stance on a position or topic. If you make a statement and you don’t have the accurate and appropriate information to back it up than it gives your reader and audience no reason to believe you and weakens your position.
Grammatical Usage and Sentence Structure
10.) Answer ONE of the following two questions:
Discuss a grammar, style, or punctuation issue that you feel you’ve “conquered” this semester (i.e., one you think you can remember and use correctly). Describe the process through which you gained this knowledge (this might include example passages from your projects that show how you gained this knowledge throughout the semester, notes from peers or instructor, passages from guides or textbooks you studied, etc).
There are quite a few things that I felt that I improved upon during this semester, such as grammar, punctuation, and formatting just to name a few. But the one thing that I think that I improved upon the most was my thesis statement. I don’t know if that is one of the areas asked in the question but I feel that is the main thing that I improved upon over the semester. Before I entered the class I didn’t really use thesis statements properly if at all. I just gave an introductory paragraph and discussed the overall idea of my paper, but never really gave clear topics or main points that I was going to focus on or discuss during my paper. I know that many of the people that read my papers and helped me revise them noticed that I had trouble trying to do this properly. I cant give exact examples because most of the information that tells how I left this out is in my peer review sheets, but for every peer review I always got the feed back that I needed a clear thesis statement. Now I’m not saying that I have mastered this yet but I do know that I have improved upon it because of all the practice I got trying to perfect it.
NOTE: If you feel that you have be able to conquer a particular grammar, style or punctuation issue this semester, answer #12. If you feel that you didn’t, answer #13.
11.) Select one of your projects and reflect on at least three elements of grammatical structure or punctuation within that project. Discuss how these elements function in the text – How do they shape the reader’s experience of the text? Do they affect the rhythm, structure or meaning of the text? Do they contribute (or take away from) your credibility as an author?
The project that I chose was my first paper, the argumentative research essay. I chose this one because it was my first paper in the class and I think that it shows the mistakes I made in the beginning of the semester that I learned from. When I was writing my paper I was trying to eliminate the use of commas that I included in my paper. I did this because we had just finished the lecture on how to eliminate unnecessary commas in our papers. I think that I took it to heart but it also hurt my writing because I put periods in certain areas where I could have used commas, this made my paper choppy and not flow as well. When I was revising my paper I was able to go back and replace the periods, helping my paper to flow making it more reader friendly. The other areas I chose to focus on were my topic sentences and thesis statements. Now while in my rough draft I struggled forming these, I found that when I was revising my paper and re-writing it that these formatting tools helped my paper flow smoothly and improved the transitions from the last sentence of a paragraph to the first sentence of the next paragraph. This helped my paper to make more sense and didn’t leave the reader confused. I think that because I improved on these two areas (topic sentence, thesis statement) that it gave me more credibility as an author and didn’t make my paper read like it was written by an armature. Where as the lack of commas made it seem like overkill and kind of took away from the flow and took the authors attention away.
1.) Using specific examples from class discussions about genre, explain your understanding of how genres are identified, constructed, produced.
The different ways to write or present information to the reader is what is defines or makes up a genre. Examples of genre are letters, position papers, profiles, poems, Ext. Genre is what helps readers understand what they are reading and help writers know the specific format in which they should write. The Norton Field Guide describes genre as what" help us write by defining features for conveying certain kinds of information.” They give the reader clues about what sort of information they're likely to find and help them figure out how to read the piece. (210)” Different genres are written in their own different and unique ways, an example of this is that poems and analysis papers are two completely different genres because they convey different information, they are written in a very different format and the reader reads and interprets both differently because of this reason.
2.) Select one of your major projects and describe how you understand the “genre” (or genres) for that project. You should provide specific examples from the text of your project to illustrate your points, and be sure to thoroughly describe the choices you made regarding complying (or not) with the genre in your writing.
The genre that I chose would be the argumentative essay. This genre is unique because you describe two different positions on a topic and try to persuade the reader to see and understand your side of the argument by pointing out the flaws in the opposing argument by giving facts and information that weaken the opposing argument. In my argumentative essay I chose student drug testing. I was able to follow the genre by showing how student drug testing would help decrease student drug use, which would improve grades, student attendance, and future drug abuse and addiction which were my the main points of my paragraphs and this strengthened my argument. I was then able to weaken the opposing arguments, which were invasion of privacy, and the fact that not all students use drugs. I could do this by pointing out the laws allowing the school to do so in order to prevent future drug experimentation. Now while certain areas of my argument could be viewed as week by not providing enough back round information, which made room for the opposing side to counter my argument. But overall I felt that the information I provided made my argument strong enough to fit the genre and persuade the reader to see my side and understand where I was coming from.
Creating Content
3.) Select a project from this course that you feel was strongly identified with a particular genre (try to pick a project where you felt you understood the genre/project and were able to work with it successfully). Discuss your understanding of how the content you created was shaped by the boundaries and features of the genre. (For example, were there things you couldn’t say about your topic because it didn’t fit with the genre? How did the genre affect the research you included?
(NOTE: if you worked on a project where you deliberately did NOT fit your content to the genre, you could discuss that project by describing how and why you made choices to do something different, and discussing how your choices resulted in a text that did not fit the genre.)
The Paper that I chose because I felt that it identified with a particular genre was the ethnography paper. The way to start the research paper is to come up with a research topic and question, which will eventually turn, into your thesis. I began by thinking about what I wanted to research and came up with vegans. I then turned this in to a question/questions, why do people become vegans? What is a vegan lifestyle like and consist of, and what is the personality or characteristics of a vegan? I started this way because of the guidelines given in class and what was stated in the Norton Field Guide. Then I had to find subjects or people to interview in order to gather information to answer my questions, which becomes the bulk of the paper. Now after I gathered the necessary information and began writing the essay I realized that I was putting in my own view points/beliefs, and was not following the genre. I was trying to turn the paper into an argumentative or persuasive piece by putting in why I disagreed and didn’t understand this lifestyle. After revising the paper I saw what I had turned the paper into and how I strayed from the assigned genre. I then had to rewrite and revise many areas of the paper so that it would properly fit with the genre. While I was revising the paper I structured the paper with the though in mind of making it an informative and descriptive research/ethnography paper by giving the detailed story of a “in the life of” type of essay. So instead of including so much of my own viewpoints I filled the bulk of the paper with their information and view and not as much of my own.
Organizing Information in Multiple Genres
4.) Compare two genres that were part of the work for this class. Use actual examples from the genres in question.
The two topics that I am choosing to compare are the Argumentative genre and the analysis genre. I chose these two because while they are different genres they are also in my mind quite similar. They are both papers that are intended to convey a particular viewpoint and describe our views and ideas on a particular subject. They are also quite different in the aspect that the argumentative genre is instead to convince a group of people to see your side of an argument. The main idea of the genre is to try to explain to people why they should take your side in the argument, or at least under stand why you believe that your views are correct by pointing out the flaws in the opposing arguments. The Analysis genre on the other hand is intended to show readers what they might not notice in a piece of work (film, art, music, ect) normally. You are in a way giving an educated assessment, critique, or review of a particular topic. So while they are both your own ideas and view point they are also both written in with a different style and format in mind.
Technology/Media
5.) Respond to one of the following writing situations: Imagine you need to produce a text about one of the following topics (choose only one). Explain (in detail) the decisions you might need to make regarding technology or media – What tools would you use to create the text? What tools/or venues might you use to distribute it? Keep in mind there is really no “correct” answer for this question – only examples of sound choices made for good reasons.
Note #1: Please explain in as much detail as possible. You can use examples from choices you made on projects during the semester – if applicable – to illustrate how these decisions can have important effects on the text one produces.
Note #2: Be sure to consider who the audience would be for this hypothetical document, and how that might affect your choices.
I chose to write about how I would use technology to create information on how to use the WMU library website. The first thing that you would have to do is type up the how-to information guide by using the Internet, the library website, a word document to type and design the how-to document. Then I would create a few different ways that my how two could be used. One would be an interactive website the others would be a pamphlets/brochure and DVD. The web site I would create on my computer, which would be an interactive web site that would have links that could be clicked in order to find certain information. There would be different links you could click for different genres that would lead to a link with different materials (books, magazines, websites, ect). This would lead to a link with a detailed paragraph of what you would haft to include in the library search tool and how you would use them to find the information that you’re looking for. This would also include a link to the exact library website search screen that you need to find what your looking for. I would also create a DVD with screen selections that would be similar to the web site. Different scene selections would be for the different genres that would lead to step-by-step directions. I would also have pamphlets that would have the same how to/ step by step direction of what you would haft to do to find exactly what you want. Then if you have any problems with anything all documents would have a help section telling you how to locate a help desk or a phone number to get one on one help. I would distribute the web site link by setting up an interactive link right on the main page of the WMU website and library home page, and via email. I would have the brochures and DVDs available at the welcome desk of the library and also have them handed out during orientation to ensure every student has a copy, so no student would have an excuse for not knowing how to use the library website. Ya pretty extensive and helpful
6 & 7.) Flexible Research Skills
Using one of the examples below (choose only one) discuss the resources you would/could use to find out about this topic. Think about the various kind of genres/or scenarios in which this information might be researched (for what kinds of texts and for what kinds of goals). Describe (in as much detail as possible) some (or all) of the following issues:
where you would go (physically or digitally) to find out about this topic
what kinds of technologies or media might you make use of in your search
who are some of the people you might gather information from (either as informants or as experts)
How would you decide what kind of information is applicable to your project?
What criteria would you use to make decisions about the types of information that would be useful or valid for this project.
Discuss one or more possibilities for the kind of text you might actually create using information you’ve gathered on this topic.
There are a multitude of sources that you could take advantage of in order to research the culture of a particular group/community and the values/rituals/beliefs that they have. Now if it’s a local group you could visit the area that they meet or congregate, i.e. a church, temple, rallied, speech, or any other type of group gathering. If that’s possible you might even have an opportunity to interview a person/s that participates in that following. If it’s not a local group than you would also have the option of looking it up on google, official group website, or some other reliable Internet resource. If that is not available you could see if they’re are educational or information videos, TV programs, or some sort of media that you could gather information from. Now like I said previously If you wanted one on one information you could ask a person involved in the group to gather reliable information, a professor, a person that has studied that group, or even another onlooker, like your self, to get their uneducated ideas and opinions on the group or subject to see what the common beliefs on this might be. Now the best information that you could find on the subject would be information that has been published by leaders, followers, originators, and creators of the group. Texts or audio/ visual information that has been produced and approved by the group would also be a good source. If those resources are not available than you should interview as many people as possible that participate in the group and compare the notes and identify the common similarities among them, which would lead to an educated guess on the subject. But even when it comes from the most reliable of sources there could always be uneducated, un-informed, or unreliable information. Which is why you should always double check the resources and investigate answers received. Now as far as the overall genre that could be written from the information gathered is all the decision of the author. From what I have written here it would most likely be a research/ ethnography type of paper. But if you wanted to turn the information that was gathered into an argumentative piece that could also be a possibility. All you would haft to do is take a position on the topic, weather you agree or disagree with the position of that group and why you agree or disagree with their lifestyle. It’s all about what information the author wants to convey.
Using Citation Formats and Citing Source Material in Multiple Genres
8.) Explore how citation functions within one of your projects from this semester. Why was this essay cited in this way? If the essay did not use formal citation, how did you show that you had the necessary authority to talk about the subject?
I used different citations/ work cited information on pretty much all of my papers. I will describe why I chose to cite like I did because there are different reasons for what I did in all of my papers. For my Analysis paper the only thing that I cited was the movie that I analyzed/ critiqued. The reason for that is because my paper was basically my views, ideas, opinions, and overall review of the film Reservoir dogs. I didn’t haft to cite anything else because I was the person creating the information given, not a different source, but I did have to cite when I used quotes because that’s another person’s work.
Now for the Argumentative essay that I did on school drug testing I had to cite many different sources using MLA citations. The reason that I had to do this was because the majority of my information came from Internet sources that I didn’t create, produce, or due the studies my self. I had to give credit and cite the source and author that it came from, both when I introduced the information and in my work cited page. Now at the same time when I formatted my papers to include citations I was worried I would credit my sources properly so I had to constantly revise my paper to make sure credit was given where credit was due.
9.) Describe your understanding of how formal citations work within an essay….how do they help to create an argument? How do they support arguments?
I believe that if it weren’t for formal citations that many genres of writing wouldn’t have much to fall back on. For the most part formal citations are what make up the bulk and credibility for informational and argumentative essays. When writing an essay you haft to have credible information to build up your topic and make it believable and reliable. The studies, information, and literature that you include from informed and credible sources is what lets your reader know that you have a informed and accurate stance on a position or topic. If you make a statement and you don’t have the accurate and appropriate information to back it up than it gives your reader and audience no reason to believe you and weakens your position.
Grammatical Usage and Sentence Structure
10.) Answer ONE of the following two questions:
Discuss a grammar, style, or punctuation issue that you feel you’ve “conquered” this semester (i.e., one you think you can remember and use correctly). Describe the process through which you gained this knowledge (this might include example passages from your projects that show how you gained this knowledge throughout the semester, notes from peers or instructor, passages from guides or textbooks you studied, etc).
There are quite a few things that I felt that I improved upon during this semester, such as grammar, punctuation, and formatting just to name a few. But the one thing that I think that I improved upon the most was my thesis statement. I don’t know if that is one of the areas asked in the question but I feel that is the main thing that I improved upon over the semester. Before I entered the class I didn’t really use thesis statements properly if at all. I just gave an introductory paragraph and discussed the overall idea of my paper, but never really gave clear topics or main points that I was going to focus on or discuss during my paper. I know that many of the people that read my papers and helped me revise them noticed that I had trouble trying to do this properly. I cant give exact examples because most of the information that tells how I left this out is in my peer review sheets, but for every peer review I always got the feed back that I needed a clear thesis statement. Now I’m not saying that I have mastered this yet but I do know that I have improved upon it because of all the practice I got trying to perfect it.
NOTE: If you feel that you have be able to conquer a particular grammar, style or punctuation issue this semester, answer #12. If you feel that you didn’t, answer #13.
11.) Select one of your projects and reflect on at least three elements of grammatical structure or punctuation within that project. Discuss how these elements function in the text – How do they shape the reader’s experience of the text? Do they affect the rhythm, structure or meaning of the text? Do they contribute (or take away from) your credibility as an author?
The project that I chose was my first paper, the argumentative research essay. I chose this one because it was my first paper in the class and I think that it shows the mistakes I made in the beginning of the semester that I learned from. When I was writing my paper I was trying to eliminate the use of commas that I included in my paper. I did this because we had just finished the lecture on how to eliminate unnecessary commas in our papers. I think that I took it to heart but it also hurt my writing because I put periods in certain areas where I could have used commas, this made my paper choppy and not flow as well. When I was revising my paper I was able to go back and replace the periods, helping my paper to flow making it more reader friendly. The other areas I chose to focus on were my topic sentences and thesis statements. Now while in my rough draft I struggled forming these, I found that when I was revising my paper and re-writing it that these formatting tools helped my paper flow smoothly and improved the transitions from the last sentence of a paragraph to the first sentence of the next paragraph. This helped my paper to make more sense and didn’t leave the reader confused. I think that because I improved on these two areas (topic sentence, thesis statement) that it gave me more credibility as an author and didn’t make my paper read like it was written by an armature. Where as the lack of commas made it seem like overkill and kind of took away from the flow and took the authors attention away.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Project Proposal
I’m still not absolutely sure what topic I am exactly going to target; I think I want to go with Donnie Darko, Reservoir Dogs, or Requiem of a Dream. I’m just having double making a decision on which one I would like to do because they are all very interesting films that I believe could be called almost artistic in the ways they were made. I would like to write about Donnie Darko because I have watched it three times and I still don’t really understand parts or the end of it but I also thought that it was an interesting and wired movie. I would like to write about Reservoir Dogs because it is a Tarintino movie so that in its self describes why I would like to write about it. Terintnos way of editing his films and having them come together and make sense at the end after you see all the pieces of the puzzle I think is amazing and a real talent. And the other film Requiem of a dream is a good film to write about because it is a sick disturbing dark insightful movie that shows the consequences of drug abuse, and has a very strange dark way of getting a very important point across which I think is amazing. I brought up film reviews for all 3 of these films as a way to see what the review was for each and to see how many stars they got as a way to see which film was the most popular as a way judge which one I should choose. I got three reviews from IMDB, one for each movie, as well as another two from Roger Ebert and one more from a random source because movie reviews are a very common form of analysis, and I want to get good ideas about all the movies.
Requiem of a dream http://aronofksy.tripod.com/requiemrereview.html
Reservoir dog’s http://www.angelfire.com/movies/oc/reservoir.html
Donnie Darko http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20040820/REVIEWS/408200303
All- IMDB.com
Requiem of a dream http://aronofksy.tripod.com/requiemrereview.html
Reservoir dog’s http://www.angelfire.com/movies/oc/reservoir.html
Donnie Darko http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20040820/REVIEWS/408200303
All- IMDB.com
The Sleeping Zone
There is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as relaxing as yoga and as refreshing as Gatorade. It is the quiet place between sheets and blankets, between pillows and comforters, and it lies between the back of my body, and the grasp of her arms. This is the dimension of dreams. It is an area which we call………………The Sleeping Zone.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
skills activity
The red wheelbarrow
1 I personally thought that this piece was not well written at all. No even thought I’m not one that knows everything about poetry it seems to me this person just picked out an object in his yard at random and said 4 random irrelevant facts about it. It may go a lot deeper than I am thinking about it but it really doesn’t make a lot of sense to me.
Roommate- that is the dumbest thing I have ever read how does that even get published.
2 I reacted the way I did because I think that this poem isn’t really a quality piece of literature. There has to be more to this topic than they are letting us see but to me I just think that the whole thing is irrelevant to anything. Who really cares that its next to the chickens, and what depends on it if it so important.
Roommate- I think this way because why would anybody want to read about a wheelbarrow. No one that’s the most boring poem I have ever heard so I think that it sucks because in my eyes it does.
4 The author wants us to believe that the wheelbarrow is important, that there is something extremely special about this piece of equipment, but because he doesn’t give me an idea of why it is so important I don’t really find it a very interesting or fun piece to read. They strayed from the main idea of writing, “ keep readers attention.” He failed me because I'm not interested.
Roommate- I don’t care what he wants me to believe, it sucks.
5 I know what I know what I know about the object from the small bit of information the author gives me. Its by the chickens, glazed in water, red, important. That’s it so it’s a description of the wheelbarrow. The little tidbits he gave me is all I know about this item.
Roommate-I don’t know anything because this author doesn’t give me any thing to know about it.
I think that this piece is very well written, my roommate thought similar thoughts as myself but had a few different choice words I chose to edit for my blog. This piece I believe was either written by a 5 year old or by someone so deep in thought he didn’t care about the reader. Now while I was more incite full and analytical in the way I wrote trying to see both sides of the argument, my roommate was more critical and in a way angry about the ether his or the authors ignorance.
1 I personally thought that this piece was not well written at all. No even thought I’m not one that knows everything about poetry it seems to me this person just picked out an object in his yard at random and said 4 random irrelevant facts about it. It may go a lot deeper than I am thinking about it but it really doesn’t make a lot of sense to me.
Roommate- that is the dumbest thing I have ever read how does that even get published.
2 I reacted the way I did because I think that this poem isn’t really a quality piece of literature. There has to be more to this topic than they are letting us see but to me I just think that the whole thing is irrelevant to anything. Who really cares that its next to the chickens, and what depends on it if it so important.
Roommate- I think this way because why would anybody want to read about a wheelbarrow. No one that’s the most boring poem I have ever heard so I think that it sucks because in my eyes it does.
4 The author wants us to believe that the wheelbarrow is important, that there is something extremely special about this piece of equipment, but because he doesn’t give me an idea of why it is so important I don’t really find it a very interesting or fun piece to read. They strayed from the main idea of writing, “ keep readers attention.” He failed me because I'm not interested.
Roommate- I don’t care what he wants me to believe, it sucks.
5 I know what I know what I know about the object from the small bit of information the author gives me. Its by the chickens, glazed in water, red, important. That’s it so it’s a description of the wheelbarrow. The little tidbits he gave me is all I know about this item.
Roommate-I don’t know anything because this author doesn’t give me any thing to know about it.
I think that this piece is very well written, my roommate thought similar thoughts as myself but had a few different choice words I chose to edit for my blog. This piece I believe was either written by a 5 year old or by someone so deep in thought he didn’t care about the reader. Now while I was more incite full and analytical in the way I wrote trying to see both sides of the argument, my roommate was more critical and in a way angry about the ether his or the authors ignorance.
Parallelism
The chapter starts on page 129; page 144 is where it ends.
-The chapter starts on page 129 and goes to page 144.
Betty is pretty, kind, and has charm.
-Betty is extremely pretty, very kind, and has a lot of charm.
If you go to the drugstore, please remember to pick up Nick’s prescription, buy some toothpaste, and to look for a birthday card.
-If you go to the drug store please, remember to pick up Nick's prescription, buy some toothpaste, and purchase a birthday card.
I spent an hour with Ms. King reviewing my job performance, assessing my goals, and my future with the company was also discussed.
-I spent an hour with Ms. King Reviewing my my job performance, assessing my goals, and also analyzing my future with the company.
The dog’s size, how friendly he was, and temperament made him a good choice for our family.
-The dog's size, friendliness, and temperament made his a good choice for our family.
Janice was the most admired person in the family, also the most independent person and the most ambitious.
-Janice was the most admired, independent, and ambitious person in the family.
Leo’s day is so long that he gets up at 5:00 a.m., leaves for work at 5:30 a.m., eating dinner at 10 p.m., and goes to bed at 1:00 a.m.
-Leo is so busy that he gets up at 5:00 a.m., leaves for work at 5:30 a.m., eats dinner at 10 p.m., and gets in bed at 1 a.m.
-The chapter starts on page 129 and goes to page 144.
Betty is pretty, kind, and has charm.
-Betty is extremely pretty, very kind, and has a lot of charm.
If you go to the drugstore, please remember to pick up Nick’s prescription, buy some toothpaste, and to look for a birthday card.
-If you go to the drug store please, remember to pick up Nick's prescription, buy some toothpaste, and purchase a birthday card.
I spent an hour with Ms. King reviewing my job performance, assessing my goals, and my future with the company was also discussed.
-I spent an hour with Ms. King Reviewing my my job performance, assessing my goals, and also analyzing my future with the company.
The dog’s size, how friendly he was, and temperament made him a good choice for our family.
-The dog's size, friendliness, and temperament made his a good choice for our family.
Janice was the most admired person in the family, also the most independent person and the most ambitious.
-Janice was the most admired, independent, and ambitious person in the family.
Leo’s day is so long that he gets up at 5:00 a.m., leaves for work at 5:30 a.m., eating dinner at 10 p.m., and goes to bed at 1:00 a.m.
-Leo is so busy that he gets up at 5:00 a.m., leaves for work at 5:30 a.m., eats dinner at 10 p.m., and gets in bed at 1 a.m.
Active Voice vs. Passive Voice
The check was given to the waitress by Steve.
-Steve gave the check to the waitress
It was recommended that the policy be changed.
-The policy was recommended to be changed
A study of the problem was made by Jenny.
-Jenny studied the problem.
The tower was hit by a bolt of lightning.
-A bolt of lightening hit the tower
The fly ball was caught by Jose.
-Jose caught the fly ball
It was overheard that some people will leave the company.
-The company overheard that some people were leaving.
The donation is to be given by Mr. Smith.
-Mr. Smith Gave the donation
The gold was discovered by a rancher in Wyoming.
-A wyoming rancher discovered gold
The check was written for an amount of one million dollars.
-A one million dollar check was written
Several donations are going to be made by the family.
-the family is making several donation.
-Steve gave the check to the waitress
It was recommended that the policy be changed.
-The policy was recommended to be changed
A study of the problem was made by Jenny.
-Jenny studied the problem.
The tower was hit by a bolt of lightning.
-A bolt of lightening hit the tower
The fly ball was caught by Jose.
-Jose caught the fly ball
It was overheard that some people will leave the company.
-The company overheard that some people were leaving.
The donation is to be given by Mr. Smith.
-Mr. Smith Gave the donation
The gold was discovered by a rancher in Wyoming.
-A wyoming rancher discovered gold
The check was written for an amount of one million dollars.
-A one million dollar check was written
Several donations are going to be made by the family.
-the family is making several donation.
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